Growing up I was always taught, both in school and by my father, that a handshake was a gesture of mutual respect. To shake a man’s hand in agreement was as solid a commitment as a more formal signed contract because a “man’s word is his bond”.
In today’s cynical world, I see more and more signs that a handshake doesn’t seem to have the same symbolism as it once did, and I think that’s sad.
My father-in-law recently shared a story about agreeing on the price of a new car, then sealing the deal by shaking the salesman's hand. While sitting in the sales manager’s office going over the paperwork, the salesman and the sales manager tried to tack on a handful of additional fees and charges that significantly raised the final price of the car. How many of us have had similar experiences? My father-in-law refused to pay the additional money and proceeded to lecture the sales manager on the verbal agreement he had made with the salesman and how his handshake on the price was an indication of the salesman's (and thus the dealership's) agreement on the matter. To change the price after the handshake was highly unprofessional and dishonorable. Eventually, the dealership conceded, but only after my father-in-law threatened to walk out.I remember at a previous job, I had agreed to contractual terms on a partnership with another business only to eventually learn that the partner wouldn't honor its end of the agreement. To make matters worse, the partner then lied about bringing on board a third party who was a direct competitor to us. When I was invited to a meeting the next year to discuss renewing the partnership (a meeting that someone else had scheduled), I initially refused to shake the company principal’s hand. I always believed that a handshake wasn’t something that was entitled. It was something that was earned or offered. My failure to shake this man’s hand got me in a bit of trouble with my supervisor, but a handshake is a sign of respect, and I had none for this man given his history of dishonest business practices.
Too often today businesses fail to look at agreements as true commitments. Contracts are made with the understanding that they can easily be broken. Fulfilling the terms of an agreement is far too often subjective. Lawyers get involved, contracts are “interpreted” and ultimately an arbiter has to decide which party it believes is interpreting the terms of the agreement correctly.
In my world, a contract is a contract. An agreement is an agreement. Your word is your bond.
A handshake symbolizes trust and respect. If you don’t intend to fully honor an agreement, then don’t shake someone’s hand. Just give them a fist bump. I don’t think it shares the same symbolism as a handshake.
